More specifically, the little ones now allowed on flights by the TSA: mostly the little shitty can't-do-dick-with-it-but-clean-out-your-nails-or-tighten-a-screw knives.
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| Instruments of DEATH! |
So, now you can bring your Swiss Army Knife onto a plane, which is, ready for this: no big deal.
An Opinion piece on CNN.com has an ex-stewardess from United up in arms about the "absurdity," though she does allude to the idea that they may not cause an imminent danger, but that people's fear would shoot through the roof anyways. Calm the fuck down.
"Oh, but TERRORISSSTTTTSSS! BOX CUTTERSSSSS!"
Shut the fuck up. If someone really wants to try to fuck up some shit at 30,000 ft, they will find a way. There are a helluva lot of things allowed on flights that are more damaging than a goddamned pocketknife. Yes, it sounds a bit Bond-y, but do you think that crazed motherfuckers who want to ruin someone's day can't figure out how to do shit-tons of damage with their belt, a corkscrew, their ring-covered fingers or even a fucking metal pen?
Hell, I've been stabbed with a #2 Dixon Ticonderoga, and it's just as good for filling in Scantron bubbles as it is for drawing some blood. Are we going to ban writing utensils on flights? Kiss that in-flight Sudoku game goodbye.
Allowing the TSA to focus on the things that can mess up a whole lot of shit, i.e. bomb components, should be a good thing. While I have SERIOUS doubts about the TSA referring to their ability to use "common sense," I think that worrying about shoddy 2" blades is a waste of energy for all people involved.
It seems that, if you wanted to REALLY be sure that no one was going to start some shit, get everyone to wear a straight jacket and gas the cabin with nitrous. Night night, passengers, we'll wake you up when we land.
OK, while I was annoyed by seeing people bitching about "Oh, noes, I'm sick of these motherfucking knives on these motherfucking planes!," I'm more irritated by recent bitches within the talks of gun control.
Now, let me give you some background on where I sit on gun control/gun-owner rights:
I have never fired a gun. As a general rule, I think that a vast majority of people should be allowed to buy and own guns.
Both sides of this issue have valid points, and both sides are dumb as fuck. Here I will point out some of my concerns with the wild statements and actions that both sides have made.
"Four more years of Obama tryin' take away my guns!"
Calm the fuck down. Obama didn't even bring up gun control in his first four years. Quit being a goddamned lunatic. There has been NO talk about the government coming around with a wheelbarrow singing "Bring out yer guns!" Calm down and breathe.
Nuh-uh, Team Obama, don't go smiling yet.
"People don't need assault rifles and machine guns, only the military should have that!"
Well, while I fully agree that it's ridiculous to own a machine gun, and that I would be wary of anyone who freaks out at the prospect of losing such a bad boy, I don't think the case is as easy as that. Especially when the same Executive branch preaching the banning of assault rifles is giving hundreds of millions of dollars to the Syrian rebel forces, who are a group of citizens using assault rifles to fight an oppressive regime. "Well, THEY can have assault weapons, because fuck that guy." doesn't really work for me.
"The Constitution says I can have guns."
Not one person who has ever said this to me can recite the full amendment, always leaving out that bit on "As part of a well-regulated militia..." Every gun owner I've met brain farts that the words "well-regulated" are part of the fucking amendment. Of course this is open to interpretation (just like every fucking other thing in our legislature), but one would think it would mean SOME kind of training being required to own a gun. Whether it be weekly group training sessions or a classroom setting, there should be some kind of "here's how it works, here's how to use it, don't fuck around" training.
"Hurrah! We're New York, we limited magazine clips to 7 instead of 10 bullets."
Oh, give me a break. Three whopping bullets less per clip? Big fucking whoop. That's done nothing to prevent gun violence. You're a bunch of self-congratulatory assholes who have done absolutely naught to address the underlying causes of gun violence, whether it be mental health screenings or safety training. It's the equivalent of saying "There are a lot of car crashes lately, let's drop the max horsepower allowed in cars from 170 to 150. GO US!" Useless.
So, what are the options, restricting the sales of certain types of guns, background checks, restricting the bullets?
Remember how, and this ties back a bit to the TSA, the TSA kept getting shit for being too slow in screening every traveler at the airport and they created a "frequent flyer" type card? Why don't we do that for guns? Let's say that once every 5-10 years, you go through a background check to see if you are a felon, have been admitted to a mental health clinic or have any history of violence. You also take a 4 hour gun safety class. If you pass, you get a gun license. You can then go buy a gun, fuck, ten guns, on the spot. You're good to go.
Just like a driver's license, you are certified that you have a low probability of fucking it up. If you do manage to fuck it up, you can get points on your license, your license suspended and/or revoked. Any guns that you buy have their serial number tied to your license, so be careful. Don't sell your guns to someone with no license, or that shit comes back to you. Don't loan your guns to others, or that shit comes back to you. While this also doesn't treat the root cause, it seems to appease both sides.
Let me know if you think I'm onto something here or if you think I'm full of shit.
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