"Obamer's a Socialist" - Why you shouldn't listen to Charlie Daniels.

I'm bothered by the lack of question mark, too.

As a general rule, I love it when celebrities get behind a cause and help shed some light on little-known charities or stand behind politicians that they believe are making the world better, but I have recently discovered that Charlie Daniels is an ill-informed hillbilly who needs to keep his fucking mouth closed.

Now, what bothers me, and this is my #1 complaint about politics as a whole, are the over-arching and terribly inaccurate statements that the esteemed fiddler spouts off.

“You cannot enforce socialism without some force,” Daniels told WND. “It’s a very top-heavy society, and every society that’s ever tried it has fallen..."

Now, this is both wrong and, well, wrong. I know, I know. Here's what I mean:

It's an inaccurate statement to say that every society that's ever tried socialism (just that phrase makes it sound like drug use, doesn't it? "Hey, Korea, wanna try some socialism?" "I don't know, China, it looks pretty brutal, man.") has failed. I am not sure if you've ever heard of a country called India, but it is listed in it's constitution as a socialist state. Sure, there's a fuckton of people there and as a result it's got a whole lot of people, but it's not a failed country by any means. 

But what was REALLY wrong with Chuck's statement was alluding to the idea that having socialized programs made the country as a whole a socialist state. Schools, police departments, fire departments and our freaking streets and freeways are all examples of (GASP!) SOCIALISM! It's the idea of pooling our resources together in the name of efficiency and cost-control. 

Socialism has a Cold War-era stigma about it being un-American which is, frankly, moronic. 9-11 has re-fuled the "Let me show you just HOW patriotic I can be" mentality that McCarthyism was so good at. 

Now, I'm not trying to say that Charlie Daniels is any less America for hating on Socialism (I know you have your red, white and blue shower curtain, Chuck!), but he is an ill-informed twat about it. 

Now, he DOES actually have a point in something he said about the Chick-Fil-A business: elected officials should not threaten to oust a company from their area because a private citizen is a complete fuckwad. 

YES the dude from Chick-Fil-A is a homophobic asshat, but his right to say that he is a homophobic asshat is protected by our constitution. We shouldn't be allowed to say "If you don't agree with me, we'll shut you up." What we CAN do is write the company's board of directors and bitch, we CAN choose not to buy dried-out chicken sammiches, and we CAN choose to write on Facebook that "Chick-Fil-A is run by a homophobic piece of dog turd and I hope none of you buy food there."

That's our recourse, one that is protected by that really cool constitution of ours. 

The Convenience Christian and the Anal-Retentive Atheist

My favorite conversation topics are the ones that are most likely to infuriate and inflame: religion and politics. As the election season prepares to enter its prime, I'll soon have more than enough fodder to have you (and me) frothing at the mouth, choking on our seething rage and mourning the prolonged and agonizing death of common sense. Instead, I will regale you with my thoughts on but one of the world's religions, with all the positives, negatives and what-the-fucks of the modern Christian. I will also touch base on the antithesis of religion, with all the positives, negatives and go-fuck-yourselves of the modern atheist.

Let me start this off with saying that I don't hate Christians, I don't hate the idea of religion, Christianity included, but I DO hate what it's become used for, and even more, I hate the ignorance of what people claim to believe and the blatant hypocrisy that has become the norm. It USED to be uncommon knowledge that I was once a Sunday School teacher, having attended the same church for over a decade. I still have a Holy Bible with my named embossed in gold that my great-grandmother purchased for me. Well, as a child, it's all fairly simple, isn't it. It was for me, at least in the beginning: Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so. This went for everyone until you started wising up to the pastor's not-so-subtle digs at teen moms and homosexuals. OK, fine, those people are bad? Got it. Let's keep going. DUDE! The pastor's 17 year old daughter's pregnant! She's now a bad person, right? No? What do you mean we don't talk about it? Are you serious? Hey, mom, Aunt Theresa's a lesbian, the Bible says we should kill her, right? What? So the people that the Bible says are terrible are only terrible if we aren't related to them? Fuck this.

Then there's the Biblical blanket statements that pastor's use to indoctrinate their sheep. I mean flock.

"Homosexuality is a sin."
"Obey the Ten Commandments."
"Jesus dies for your sins."

Wait a second, do you know what the difference between the old and new testaments is?

I'll give you a second to think about it.

Figure it out? No? The New Testament is where Jesus comes into play. That entire "died for your sins" bit, New Testament. That "sacrifice a lamb" shit, Old Testament. As Christians are supposed to be following the teachings of Jesus, I'll keep to a lot of that. The Old Testament's framework of how people were to live (where the ONE Biblical quote about homosexuality comes from) was to be superseded by the New Testament, and Jesus' new idea of "Look, I'm going to die for your sins, don't be a douchebag." (Paraphrased, of course.)  Why am I making a point out of this? Because it makes all the difference in the world in what Christianity was SUPPOSED to be and the mockery it has made of itself.

Anytime someone quotes some hateful, stupid shit (mostly that Leviticus quote about a man laying with another man to illustrate how "Jesus hates fags), it's probably from the Old Testament. The Old Testament also says that the Jews of (what is now) Isreal are the "Chosen People." Not us. Not America. Isrealis: you win, congratulations! People of Alabama: God doesn't like you as much. It's in your book that you don't read.

But, back to the hypocrisy and ignorance. My biggest gripe about the modern-day Christian, and YES, this is a blanket statement, but I totally stand by this as more true than not, is that the same people who claim that the Bible is the undiluted word of God don't read the book. And if they DO, they ignore parts that would directly condemn them.

Rush Limbaugh is out there, screaming about gays and liberals raising taxes and something about Mexicans. Mitt Romney is going around to the Middle East telling Israel that they are better than Palestine because their per-capita income is higher (no joke). And Fox News is out there with their "Obama Declares War On (Something dear to your heart)" Mad Lib, generally when he attempts to do something to help the lower class.

Mr. Limbaugh's discussion of gays ruining the sanctity of marriage bit is far less compelling when you think of Jesus saying "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9, fellas.)

Mitt Romney, who is celebrated as a man of the Lord (even if some worry about his Mormon offshoot of Christianity not being "Christian enough"), would do well to remember another quote of Jesus: "Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.'" (Matthew 19:23-24; Matthew's a good book, isn't it?)

As for Rupert Murdoch and his Fox News associates, there's always: "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy."(Proverbs 31:8-9)

So, hopefully you can start to see why a lot of people who aren't Christian get upset at the louder and more stereotypical Christian rhetorics.

On the flip side, though, are the asshole atheists, the ones who say shit like "I don't believe in Jesus." or "I only believe in myself." Oh, shut the fuck up. Jesus WAS, and this IS documented, a real dude. Saying "I don't believe in Jesus." is like saying "I don't believe in Napoleon Bonaparte." Sure, you might believe that he wasn't the son of God, born of an immaculate conception (I'm right there with you buddy), but dismissing his progressive and socialist (GASP!) ideas warrant some respect. I mean, the dude turned water into wine! Jesus was a dude who knew a nice Cabernet Sauvignon is better than Aquafina any day of the week, what's not to like?

Sure, a shit ton of people who identify with Christianity are total fucking twats, but there are some genuinely good people who believe in Jesus' virgin birth who don't give a good Goddamn if two dudes want to get married to legitimize their love, who don't mind paying more taxes to open up another homeless shelter. Take everyone and everything on a case-by-case basis, decide for yourself what you want to believe and mind your own fucking business when it comes to how someone wants to, as long as it doesn't hurt another living creature, lead their life. If you are going to claim to be a Christian, try to be Christ-like and don't shove it down anyone's throat. If you are going to claim to be a firm believer of science, try to be informed and don't shove your beliefs down anyone's throat.